Exclusive: Doggy in do, do over competition crises

It’s the court case of the century – Doggy versus Mollie.
And us moggies have been glued to every second of the enthralling affair.
Following a short training course from Dad, who tells us he is a bone-fido (or was that bona-fide?) journalist, we are now ready to tell the true story behind the harrowing case.
After a crash course in phone hacking, quote manipulation and rifling through cat litter for clues we have come up with an exclusive that will have the world’s leading newspapers calling.
We already have offers for our story from The New Yap Times, The Grrrrdian, The (Alsat)Sun, The Daily Meow and The Scratching Post, but we wanted to share our splash with you first…

Doggy in do, do over competition crises

Exclusive by Archie, Henry and Oscar

A dog who was knighted by President Obama is a compulsive competition addict currently under investigation by Dog Competition Anonymous.
This mews-paper can reveal that Sir Doggy has been hiding an addiction to word puzzles and quizzes that dates back to his puppy days.

DODGY: Doggy is addicted to competitions

Close furrfriends also told our reporters that he has a strange liking for sniffing people’s crotches.
The sordid details emerged during the high profile Paw Token case in which Doggy took former pal Mollie to court.
The highly controversial trial, presided over by Judge Samuel Kimmell, came to pass after competition junkie Sir Doggy pressed charges against Mollie over ‘Naughty Monday-gate‘.
The quiz buff insisted he should be granted a fourth token in a competition ran by Mollie after the defendant blogged to say she would be giving out free tokens to all readers who hadn’t got one yet.
This morning Judge Kimmell concluded the trial by taking up a plea bargain arranged by Mediator, Long Life Cats and Dogs, which meant Mollie would give an extra Paw Token to all competitors – including Doggy – while the errant knight was given a probationary sentence and ordered not to unlawfully obtain any further tokens.
The decision came despite a flood of backers for under-fire Mollie.
But insiders have told this mews-paper that the verdict was made in a desperate attempt to save Doggy from spiralling further out of control.

MUCH MALIGNED: Mollie

JUDGE: Samuel Kimmell

One furrfriend of the troubled Sir said: “Doggy has a real problem. He just can’t help himself.
“It started with creating Suduko puzzles out of the ingredients lists on the back of dog food tins and before long he was entering every competition going.
“He has taken out a second mortgage on his kennel to cover his costs and there are rumours he has even tried to pawn his knighthood to make ends meet.”
A mobile phone message hacked into by this mews-paper contained the telling phrase: “Woof! Woof! Bark, bark! Three across, bark!”
It is believed to have come from Sir Doggy’s competition dealer.
A spokesdog for Dog Competition Anonymous, which acts as watchdog for the canine competition commission, confirmed they are investigating the matter.
A spokesman for the court said: “The facts of your story are largely untrue.”

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About mythreemoggies

The every day life of three moggies living in the UK

Posted on 07/09/2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Oh dear, once the newspapers and reporters get hold of this, all truth gets muddled into a confuddlement of hearsay.
    Cool post. We are all happy that friendship prevailed and the Litchi Treaty was signed. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. May Mollie (and all players) find peace. May she refuse this addiction that may cause her loss of home and friends… May the hand of love and acceptance be upon all….
    Thank You for this insight into a terrible trend that may cause the decline of puppies and the love they have to give.
    (This reply comes with the added admonition…. ๐Ÿ™‚ xoxoxo )

  3. What a doggy bone-chillingly yet beautifully accurate accounting of the court case of the century……and just think……..WE WERE ALL THERE!!!!!! Excellent job of reporting……

    Kitty Hugs, Sammy (formerly Judge Samuel Kimmell) RETIREMENT RESUMED

  4. Thank Ceiling Cat…a repurrt we can trust…it is from a mewspaper…not a yappeper…very goo recount of the blow by blow event…I still am pondering if Doggy should ever be allowed back into the Paw Token Event…he may just be too pawdicted to games…sigh…walks off…shaking head…stops, places paw on wall…shakes head some more…

  5. Poor little woofie! But a good story none the less!

  6. Fank youz for an accurate account and showing that DOGGY has a weal addiction!!!!!! He is seriously ill and dose need some pyscho help wiff this problem. There is a dark side ( Mr GREY ) and a very generous side to Doggy… I won’t comment any more..He will put those snipers back outside my door…bol xx000xx

  7. Pe-es..Wez just popped it on our bloggie, so everyone can come over and have a good read…bol xx000xx

  8. Excellent reporting! The truth needs to be told!

  9. Well that was quite the report and I’m glad so many impawtant facts were brought to light!!!

  1. Pingback: PAWTY TIME..ALL’Z WELCOME! | Mollie & Alfie

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